Newlywed wife is telling me I can sleep around? - Talk About Marriage

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Yesterday, 09:00 PM	? #1 (permalink)
Registered User ? Join Date: Jun 2011 Posts: 12	Yeah, basically how it sounds. Here is some background situation I got married in august, and my wife told me prior to getting married she wanted to try a 3way with another woman, which i wanted. Well I met this girl who kept flirting with me hardcore and i told the wife about it. she told me to ask her about a 3way, which i did but then the girl said no she didnt want that. So i just kinda laughed at her advances and would relay them to my wife. My wife isnt a bitter or jealous woman and always thought the stories were funny, then recently she went out of her way to tell me i had a free pass with whoever i wanted, that i could sleep around as long as i was upfront. We've never had an open relationship. At first I was kinda amazed by her and then I realized I would never want her to sleep around and the thought kills me, so how is she so ok with me sleeping around? Any thoughts on why she is allowing/doesnt care if i do this? I havent cheated FWIW or taken her up on the offer... oh also i am 26 shes 25, neither married before and no kids
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Yesterday, 09:08 PM	? #2 (permalink)
Member ? Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: SE Wisconsin Posts: 2,241	Don't ask us--ask your wife. If she is interested in "other" sexual relationships, she may find her sex life with you too understimulating and this is her way of getting you to expand your sexual repetoire. Or she's already having sex outside the marriage and wants you to do so, too, so she doesn't feel guilty. Both are possible explanations, but you need to talk it through with her, without being judgmental about her sexual proclivities. Yes, you have a right to feel misled and lied to if she knew that exclusive sex with one man would not be enough for you and married you without telling you. But her sexual interests are not inherently "wrong," just different. Keep in mind that you could be in for a wild sexual ride if you find she does have these interests. But if you are unable to share her (like she is willing to share you), then the confines of marraige may not be something she can live with long term. If she's just already cheating and offered the 3-way or your freedom just to cover & justify that, well, you have a very different problem.
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Yesterday, 10:18 PM	? #8 (permalink)
Member ? Join Date: Oct 2011 Posts: 81	First, what we suggest is not marriage and it's sad. I do know a true story of a similar situation. He went on a wild first date, with similiar crazy things and excitement. They got engaged. He apparently borrowed money, didn't repay it, they broke up and shed wanted the money back which he did not do. Big big mistake. She sued him, tormented him through numerous courts, filed for a restraining order, beat the crap out of him for the next two years, he spent thousands on lawyers unsuccessfully trying to stave her off, was a nervous mess when I saw him, and his funeral was last year, having died of a hard attack at 37 years old. If he took advantage of her initially, he messed with the wrong person, and she make him pay. Moral, get a nice girl and do nice things. Forget about the things you are thinking. It cost my friend his life.
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Yesterday, 10:21 PM	? #9 (permalink)
Registered User ? Join Date: Jun 2011 Posts: 12	Quote: First, what we suggest is not marriage and it's sad. I do know a true story of a similar situation. He went on a wild first date, with similiar crazy things and excitement. They got engaged. He apparently borrowed money, didn't repay it, they broke up and shed wanted the money back which he did not do. Big big mistake. She sued him, tormented him through numerous courts, filed for a restraining order, beat the crap out of him for the next two years, he spent thousands on lawyers unsuccessfully trying to stave her off, was a nervous mess when I saw him, and his funeral was last year, having died of a hard attack at 37 years old. If he took advantage of her initially, he messed with the wrong person, and she make him pay. Moral, get a nice girl and do nice things. Forget about the things you are thinking. It cost my friend his life. NO Idea how this relates to me, maybe u misposted
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